When one sees the world in terms of “Us” and “Them”, the “Thems” are always going to bring trouble.
Religions, of course, are the worst. So often they are premised upon “Us”, on the inside, and a host of heathen “Them”, on the outside. God favors the “Us”, and scowls upon the “Them” (so we tell ourselves). Which somehow lends itself to seeing religious persecution (and even religious wars) as righteous, even holy things to do. What a misdirection that is.
The trap is that Us and Them is a proven, effective method for inciting either action or acquiescence (depending on the motivation of the inciter). Always with fear as the motivator. The “Them” present a danger; we must mobilize, take action to prevent them from harming our interests. Once one has signed on to separateness and fear, that path necessarily leads to meanness, aggression, perhaps even violence. All of it justified, of course, by the demonstrated need to protect the interests of “Us”.
At the extreme, Us and Them means war. It becomes Us or Them; kill or be killed. As we have seen, it can be very difficult to extricate from that. Each horror visited upon the other presents a need for revenge. Tit demands tat. Atrocities must be avenged. Eventually, how it all began hardly matters; the ancient hatreds are self-sustaining for generations. The Us versus Them becomes a permanent thing, grinding on indefinitely like World War I trench warfare (or like a hockey fight with no linesmen to step in and break up the exhausted combatants). With genocide being the only prospect for ultimately “winning” (even while each side shrieks in horror at the other side’s allegedly genocidal actions).
Except that sometimes Us and Them, warwise, eventually runs its course. England and France were at war many times; on one occasion, for the “Hundred Years’ War”. Yet, war between those two countries would now seem unthinkable. Throughout Europe, for the longest time Protestants and Catholics slaughtered each other at every opportunity. Nowadays, it would seem ridiculous to fight to the death over the differences between those aspects of Christianity.
Before we congratulate ourselves for putting some Us and Them violence behind us, we can of course observe the wars that are currently ongoing in our world. In each case, based on differences between “Us” and “Them” that are, in terms of DNA, miniscule. Rather, it is the old standbys of religion and culture and ancient hatreds that are the impetus for horrible destruction and cruelty. With a present risk of additional participants jumping in on the competing sides. It occurs to me that we seem closer to “World War III” than at any other time during my lifetime. How to de-escalate that, once the battle lines are drawn?
Closer to home, short of war, Us and Them have by no means stepped back. But here they are sneakier, more insidious. The motivations of those who encourage humans to regard themselves in terms of Us and Them are varied, but the techniques deployed have a common pattern. Focus on a difference. Any difference, be it race, gender, sexuality, wealth, social standing, or beliefs. And then divide the participants based on that difference. One race against another; women against men; the poor against the wealthy; citizens against “migrants”; the self-proclaimed enlightened ones against “deplorables” or “deniers”. Stir in outrage. For that, find something in the past to spark a flame of outrage and something to avenge. Then, ignite. Us against Them, in full vigor; let the battle rage until one side vanquishes the other.
Our politics – most demonstrably in the United States, but certainly not only in the United States – has become infested with Us and Them. Not only are those on the other side of the divide bad and wrong; they are the enemy. They must be defeated, routed, destroyed, permanently vanquished. Except that one side never fully vanquishes the other. Eventually, the other side gets the upper hand and similarly takes its revenge. How is any of that less futile than the futility of war?
Even “conspiracy theories” are premised on Us and Them. Sneakily so, with the “Them” being secret, hidden, invisible, and thus all the more to be feared and hated. All with the same motivation: create division.
How on Earth do we get past Us and Them? Or at least avoid the nightmare scenarios that arise when Us and Them spirals out of control. Yes, there is the obvious practical reason to pull back from Us and Them: its inherent destructiveness and futility. Yet that practical reason often seems to be shouted down by the loudness of the visceral outrage that has ignited and fueled the Us and Them conflict in the first place. Is there an “off switch” we could somehow access? I believe there is.
The way out of Us and Them, it seems to me, is to remind ourselves, as often as we need to, of the fundamental nature of this Earthly reality. As I wrote in EARTH GAME The Next Level, each and every one of us is “Source/God” having an adventure, playing a game, weaving a story. To that end, Source/God has rendered itself amnesiac so that it could experience (through us), an illusion of separateness. All separation from Source/God is illusion. All “Us and Them” is a falsehood, a lie we tell ourselves. We can step beyond that lie. The truth is there is only “Us”.
This is not merely a philosophical musing. We can make it real, in every interaction within our daily lives. When we interact with any human, we can see them as the divine being that they truly are – even if, in the moment of the interaction, they appear to have entirely lost any sense of their own divinity. We can see the Oneness that we share with them. We can see them as part of “Us”; and we can reject any knee-jerk notion that they are “Them”.
This takes practice. To look for the God-being in every human requires discipline. When I read about someone of a different national origin or race or who holds a belief I do not share, I resist any impulse to categorize that person as “Them”. Similarly, when I see homeless encampments, I caution myself not to regard those individuals as “Them”. When I hear politicians or activists speak in a way that calls upon me to take sides (and condemn the other side), I decline the invitation to do so. If I disagree with someone about something, I remind myself that I need not dislike them because of that. There is only “Us”; there is no “Them”. Yes, there are indeed humans behaving badly; and there are humans faring poorly. But if I can choose to see only someone who has lost (temporarily or permanently) their connection to their own divinity and their connection to the flow of abundance from Source/God, I can decline an Us and Them categorization.
And no, I am not suggesting that we should just step back and let evil do as evil does. But even as we do what must be done, can we do that without descending into Us and Them?
What if we all made it our habit to greet every human interaction as the interaction between bits of the divine that it is? Fortunately for me, for a role model I can look to my dog, a five-year old Soft-Coated Wheaten Terrier. She just happens to be the world’s friendliest dog. I do not exaggerate; she has yet to meet a human she did not greet with enthusiasm and affection. Age, gender, race, wheelchair – she pays no mind to any of that; love is to be bestowed. For our part, short of behavior that would be considered inappropriate between humans, couldn’t we all be just a little that way?
Altruism aside, from a practical perspective Us and Them is not a winning strategy for interactions among humans. Any argument offered in support of an Us and Them approach to life on Earth must be premised on scarcity as a worldview. Which, in an abundant Universe, is a false premise. Us and Them can also arise from fear, but that as well is never a valid premise. Eventually, love wins, not fear. Yes, once Us and Them sets in, anger can sustain it. But over any span of time, the economics of peace are far superior to war.
Admittedly, some of this is a function of “Soul Age”. Which mirrors the stages of life. For a toddler, it is all “I, me, mine”; there isn’t (yet) a notion of “Us”. Later, there is the “Us” of family, and the “Them” of strangers. For the “Young Soul”, there may be a draw to expansion, even conquest (which can appear to call for “Them” categorizations). But for the “Mature Soul” – which category I believe is increasing in our world – the search for something more meaningful inevitably expands the notion of “Us”, while correspondingly diminishing the notion of “Them”. And for the “Old Soul” – which category I believe many will be stepping into for the first time during the course of their current lifetime – the truth of the all-encompassing “Us” becomes increasingly self-evident. This is the path that now calls to us; I believe the wars presently in our world are here to make a case for embracing this path. More “Us” recognized, less “Them” thinking. We are ready to move in that direction. In our politics, in our societies, in international affairs, in matters of economics, and in our daily lives.
I will work at it, in my own daily life. Perhaps you can too. As for keeping our guard up, perhaps we can refocus that to being ever-watchful for those who would lead us down a path of Us and Them, of division. Even while we remind ourselves that those people too belong in the “Us” category.